Finding Our Way....

During a stay on Treasure Island, FL last month we happened upon a surf shop to kill some time before a concert.  A very special surf shop named Suncoast Surf Shop  and a very special surf shop owner named Joe.  To keep a fairly long story short we walked out of there with a new addition to our "good times" arsenal......The Big Easy.  The Big Easy is a Starboard paddleboard that has helped us find our way to being as close to Jeremiah/Daddy as possible for now.  By "for now" I mean at Miah Jane's young age.  As she gets older there will be Mommy and Me surfing classes in our future among many other things, but for now we will slowly cruise, breathe in salty air, and feel.....feel him. 

I have tried to visit people and places, do things Jeremiah and I had done with Miah Jane, but the feeling that something is severely missing is too hard to overcome at times.  The looming void chips away at my heart and I find myself breaking down, becoming weak.  I can't do this.  I can't be weak.  Not on our daughter's time.  Maybe someday, but for now Miah Jane and I need to find our own way.  We are quite the team I must brag....we've done pretty well finding it.

Uncle Jordi was out of town this particular weekend, so it was up to us girls to fend for ourselves. 

We rocked it! 

Don't worry Uncle Jordi we still need you!

Oh Mama you and that camera!!  Let's GO!!

Auntie Tanya is always the first one to step in line behind me and hold on to the "oh shit" bar.

I love you sister.

This drive was sooo nerve wracking.  As long as Jeremiah and I were together he would NEVER strap a board on the roof.  Boards always had to be safely nestled between us in vehicles despite our comfort.  Well this board ain't called The BIG Easy for nothing!  

I was so wrapped up in strapping the board, loading Miah Jane, packing sunblock, etc. I forgot to take my socks off.  One of the very few pros of becoming a widow.....you just don't give a crap!

We have to give a shout out to Mama and Presley Kepple for giving us Miah Jane's safety suit!

Thank you so much girlies this worked out perfect! xoxo 

Here we go!

I eventually got brave and stood up.  Not brave enough to take a picture of it though.

We paddled to a local beach and of course made Auntie Muscles carry everything.

This kid would look cute in a garbage bag.  I know, I'm biased.

LOOOVES waves.  I mean LOVES them!!

Auntie Tanya's turn to paddle home while we sight see!

First time for everything and it was a success! 

This picture is exactly what I imagined as I contemplated buying this board.

Thank you Joe.

Christmas Time is Here

As I've mentioned in earlier posts I was pretty young when we moved from Chicago, but I vividly remember holidays accompanied with the changes of the season.  May it be Thanksgiving or Christmas the weather seemed to define the spirit of the celebration.  Or did it?  Was this just because it was the only thing I knew at the time?  I swore for years once we moved to Naples that without leaves turning colors and snow drifting past window panes the holidays will never be the same.  And they weren't, but as each year passed and new traditions were born the emphasis on the weather became less and less.  More and more I realized that it wasn't the change outdoors that moved me, but quite the opposite, the never changing, unconditional love within my family and heart of our home.  The gathering together and sharing moments of tradition and celebration come rain or shine. 

One thing you can predict about life is it's unpredictability......here I am a little bit older, and no longer the kid with the simple challenge of getting into the Christmas spirit without snow.  I wish golden leaves and powdery snow were all that I now have to do without this season and the seasons to come.  Be it as it may my family is up for the challenge once again.  Oh and they have backup with our many and mighty friends that have banded together along the way.  The blessing of their love for me and my little girl will win every time I'm sure of it.  They are a force to reckon with.

OK I'm done.....here's the kid in all her cuteness.

Each night this week we assigned ourselves a Christmas task.  Here are a few shots of Uncle Jordi, Auntie Tanya, and MJ putting up our icicle lights.  Notice she is in nothing but a diaper.  This is her favorite outfit these days.  Especially after a week of suffocating layers in the cold. 

Stringing popcorn garland with Uncle Jordi.  By the way, when is the last time, if ever, that you made popcorn on the stovetop?  Here's a link to help you through it....stovetop popcorn.  Good times!

I figured MJ was old enough to handle the ornaments, ah yeah no. 

Lot's of casualties. 

It was a pretty grim sight.

My hot glue gun and I have some arms and legs to tend to............

Merry Christmas!

Giving Thanks in the Windy City

It seemed as if we were in and out of O'Hare airport in the wink of an eye.  Yes I wrote wink.  I like the sound of wink better than blink.  Reason being, there is always something special behind a wink versus a blink isn't there? 

Thanksgiving 2010 was absolutely special. 

I have to apologize I did not come through with very many pictures capturing our week.  The flash on our little camera isn't working for one.  Two, the Florida girl that I have become is proven in the few blurry pictures I did snap with each shiver and teeth chatter.  IT WAS FREAKING COLD DUDE!!  Three, I was just too dang busy having a good time.  So please accept my apology for such a piss poor post.

THANK YOU does no where near the justice needed to be extended to my Aunt Kim, Uncle Duke and family for their gracious hospitality.  Between the eggs made to order every morning and forfeited beds each night the coziness of our stay will be always be remembered and never taken for granted.  Cedar Lake Vukobratovich's oh how we love you....insert wink here.

Now on to a few pics.........

 We visited Lincoln Park Zoo early in the week. 

Here's a sweet shot of MJ admiring one of the gorillas. 

Truly beautiful animals.

 I'm not quite sure who was messing with who here.  MJ or the beaver?

Little Miss Shopper showing us what she wants for Christmas from Land of Nod.

Ah P.S. Land of Nod kicks ass!! 

My whole family might have had a little too much fun there.

We toured the World of Christmas at the Museum of Science and Industry.

Getting into the Christmas spirit with Gpa!!

Miah clapped nonstop through this entire exhibit.  Really precious.

Checking out what Chicago's night life has to offer with Auntie Tanya and Uncle Jordi.

(yes my shivering ruined this pic, but you get the idea)

Speaking of Uncle Jordi and Auntie Tanya......they had some fun taking pictures of Miah with their super duper camera in my Uncle's backyard.  The only part of this I had anything to do with is possibly 50 percent of my kid's cuteness.......otherwise these are all courtesy of them.  Oh and MJ.

Wink of an eye I tell ya........for thee I am thankful.

Sweet Home Chicago

We are off to Chi-Town today to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with family.  I was born in Chicago as was all of my family on both Gpa and Gma's side.  We moved to Naples when I was eight years old.  I swore that when I turned eighteen I was moving back......yeah well Naples had it's way with me and moving away didn't ever pan out.  I'm sure it would have been an amazing experience, but then I wouldn't have had this little sleeping beauty now would I?

(Bad ass Dolphins jersey tee courtesy of the coolest family around...the Schaps Gang!  You get an MJ kiss if you can guess who's number that was!)

Got to have plenty of rest to take on the windy city!

Have a happy Thanksgiving!  I'll be sure to have plenty of pictures to prove how happy ours was.

Haddy Hey....Baby don't you wanna go......back to that same 'ole place......

SWEET HOME CHICAGO!

Hope and Courage

Miah Jane and I spent Saturday morning with the ever so talented and charming Monet "Giblin" Layton in the children's corner of the Garden of Hope and Courage.  Many of you know this place to be very sacred to me in that much of Jeremiah's hard work is strewn throughout the trees, ponds, and walkways.  There were many nights we'd visit the garden to see it lit up.  The lights weren't the only thing beaming on those nights......Jeremiah's pride in his work and heart felt attachment to this job shined in those baby blues I came to love so much.

Monet's dear friend Dierdre "Conley" Varness lost her husband to cancer this past summer and is expecting to give birth to their baby boy next month.  To honor Baby Varness, Monet hosted photo sessions for donations to be given to Dierdre.  I have never met Dierdre, but we have been in contact and plan to meet each other when she comes down to visit her parents in January.  She and I have not met yet, but we know.  She and I know.....the pain of bitter and the joy of sweet.

Monet you are a gem of a friend.  Your love and support for Dierdre and her baby boy is beautiful.

These are a few of the photos Monet took of Miah and I that morning........

She couldn't resist the powdered donuts Monet had out.  Apparently these were once a favorite of Todd's.

And now a favorite of MJ's.  Great. 

Todd Varness

June 11, 1974 - August 2, 2010

How far we've gone
How far we're going
So here and the now
And the love for the sound
of the moments that keep us moving....